@JermHimselfish: Of course this milk is fresh, I just saw it breakdancing in the back of the refrigerator.
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@BuckyIsotope: ME: who's a good boy *kissy noises* DOG: I just murdered the cat ME: you are, yes you are *rubs dog's head* DOG: you're next buddy
@thisislizz: Dear Tech Support, I twied to puth my tongue in tha USthB port again. Canth you helpf?
@HairyJew4Life: Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years? Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
@faizziy: Hate it when I get carried away with emotions. Lost a who-blinks-1st competition with a box of donuts & had to eat em all in a fit of rage