@JeremyInKC: Of course your milkshake brings the boys to the yard. What boy doesn't love milkshakes? If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed.
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@bad_as_you_want: Found my 16yr old daughters Twitter today, made her deactivate it...after I copied all of her best material to my draft folder of course
@LindaInDisguise: *calls male escort service* Whispers "How much for... you know... someone to go to Red Lobster with me."
@Dirty_Naomi: Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius.