@vineyille: Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him "baby hands" until he quits
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@cray_at_home_ma: I tucked my kids in last night and said, "See you in the morning!" and then we laughed and laughed. Saw them 16 more times before sunrise.
@markleggett: Stop complaining about the length of the Hobbit movies. Plays are 17 hours long. School plays are twice that.
@OmgMeDamnit: Don't waste time thinking about what's wrong with you. Instead, focus on what's wrong with other people.
@Marlebean: I should have used more oils to get this off easier.. I'm trying to jerk it off but it won't come. Honey, dinner is stuck to the pan.