@vineyille: Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him "baby hands" until he quits
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@AmishPornStar1: You know that chick who said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"... Yeah, well I ate her.
@davidsirota: Things I learned from media: Sanders has won a bunch of states but must drop out Rubio shows he's a contender by losing nearly everywhere
@hyperblastchic: Me singing: Then I saw her face!! Now I'm a Beliber! Not a trace of doubt in my mind! Roommate: You DO know that's a guy...right?