@dammit_emma: officer, buying weed from a guy who sells on the side is basically shopping local. you should be THANKING me for supporting our community.
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@Vice_Queen: So your face, is it permanently like that or are you genuinely surprised every time you take a selfie?
@Jacob_Swift16: Me: do you want to hear what happened to the last guy who threatened me? Bumper cars operator: i meant your time is up, like for the ride
@trevso_electric: The leading method of suicide in Albania is attempting to kidnap Liam Neeson's daughter.
@paul_lander: Who says Republicans aren't into recycling? Mitt Romney's thinking of running for President, again.