@dammit_emma: officer, buying weed from a guy who sells on the side is basically shopping local. you should be THANKING me for supporting our community.
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@rsynder336x2: I always pick up a huge cucumber up at walmart and yell to my wife "you said you wanted the biggest one right" Because I'm a great husband
@vineyille: It says here on your resume that you're "good at traps," could you expand on that while I investigate this pile of leaves on the floor?
@Hobo_Splendido: Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.
@ShutUpThatsWho: If you play the movie Jaws backwards it's basically a story about a shark with bulimia.