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@brittarnett: officer: give me your name
me: then what am I going to use?
@badAzz_mom: People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
@shkeeber: Mom: Where're you going?
Me: To dinner with my friends!
Mom: Your friends?
Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...
@Diversion50: In Transylvania, it's your Count that votes.
@fatherofcomedy: I threw caution to the wind.caution is my little brother.
@causticbob: My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.