@jwoodham: Officer, I know I was speeding, but you have to let me go. I'm running late to a concert and I'm the guy who brings the giant beach ball.
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@SatansTongue: *slips a 20* How about a private dance "Okay let's go" *heads to private room* "You ready?" Oh hell yeah *we both do the cha cha slide*
@bourgeoisalien: I feel like maybe if God didn't spend all his time helping people win at sports and awards shows he'd have time to fix some shit