@SCbchbum: Officer pulled me over & asked if I knew what the speed limit was, like I'm getting paid to tell him his job.
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@hippieswordfish: [in traction] Before you ask, yes you can make cheese from moose milk and no I didn't think she'd spook so easy.
@OtherDanOBrien: MOSES: Cool thinkpiece GOD: It's a list of commandments. Not everything is a thinkpiece! Jesus Christ MOSES: Who? GOD: Oops, sorry. Spoilers
@mamamia6212: My 2 yo is currently having the biggest tantrum I've ever seen! He's mad I will not let him open & eat the box of candy* he found. *tampons
@XplodingUnicorn: The U.S. Army developed a pizza that stays good for 3 years. Finally, those billions in military spending paid off. Your move, Al Qaeda.