@PaulyPeligroso: Oh, a BEAR hug. *starts putting clothes back on*
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@mattZillaaaa: [at my funeral] So young, how did he die? He ran into oncoming traffic after walking past a group of adults saying the word "bae"
@markleggett: Despite hating tomatoes, I was a tomato in a school play. I put my personal beliefs aside and nailed the role because I was a professional.
@Quartzjixler: I requested the number 867-5309 from my cellular provider because I like being annoyed to the point of rage.