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@Moanhamed: OH AND JUST FYI.... THE BAGS UNDER MY EYES ARE LOUIS VUITTON
@DesiJedeikin: I will never stop laughing at this
@aplethoras: me: why do i feel terrible
brain: coffee is not a food group
brain: eat a vegetable
me: guess we'll never know
brain: oh my god
@JermHimselfish: There used to be 9 planets, just like there used to be 9 members of Wu-Tang, but then ODB died so they had to kick Pluto out of the group.
@tastefactory: My wife caught me looking at a seagull at the beach so now we're in this big fight.
@Drops: How is tinder still free?