@Moanhamed: OH AND JUST FYI.... THE BAGS UNDER MY EYES ARE LOUIS VUITTON
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@notorious_stars: My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That's why I stopped Wearing them
@Sassafrantz: If a bear tries to attack you in the woods, give it your bicycle. Maybe it's one of those circus bears, you never know.
@VanGobot: Judge: Guilty! *bangs gavel* NINE MONTHS LATER *gavel holding freaky gavel-human hybrid baby* Judge: *tears welling up* ..he has your eyes
@TheNardvark: Refrigerator ice dispensers are perfect for those times when you need either zero or 5000 ice cubes.