@HeyJennyConway: Oh baby, were not going to need a 'do not disturb' sign. We're going to need a 'please don't call the police were fine' sign.
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@Shingaboop: Coworker: GOOD MORNING! Me: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee Coworker: But you don't drink coffee Me: Exactly
@murrman5: I'm off to the store got your wallet? yes you sure? YES *hour later wife turns on news and I'm being chased by 6 cop cars and a helicopter*
@OhNoSheTwitnt: No thanks, babies. If I'm going to let something inside of my body that's going to destroy my figure, it'll be cheese, bread and booze.