@HeyJennyConway: Oh baby, were not going to need a 'do not disturb' sign. We're going to need a 'please don't call the police were fine' sign.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Cleaning up is a superpower. Don't you want to be a superhero? 5-year-old: I'll just be a bad guy.
@thegayfarmerguy: Doc: You have gallstones Me: Ugh. Doc: You can control it with diet. Me: Great! Doc: No chocolate, cheese, fried foods... Me: Take it out.
@NikiWithIssues: If Snow White can trick 7 men into supporting her, then I'm sure I can find at least one sucker to do that for me.
@Shock_Monster: My dream job? That's easy: Be one of those Muppets that sit up in balcony making fun of everyone. That's Old School Twitter.