@TheMichaelRock: Oh, did my tweet insulting a celebrity upset you? Maybe you should tell them about it the next time you guys hang out.
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@AtticusFinch79: I don't mean to brag but my stalker has OCD so he trims my bushes while he's hiding in them waiting for me to get home.
@markedly: My girlfriend once made me change because I was wearing green pants with a blue shirt. "You look like the earth," she said.
@AmishPornStar1: I bet the first guy who threw shit into a fan never knew what an incredible legacy he would leave.