@ChrisRRegan: Oh, elderly neighbor: You defeated Hitler, yet you somehow can't figure out the car alarm?
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@RowdyBowden: Fifth Third Bank? I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank.
@causticbob: My grandfather was a boxer in the British Army. Which was completely unfair because the enemy had rifles.
@StarWarsProblms: Obi-wan: You look different. Vader: You left me burning alive in lava with no arms and legs. Obi-wan: I thought maybe you got a haircut.
@shegotagronk: Shout out to my drug dealer Jamal, he's taught me more about the metric system than any of my teachers ever did.