@prodigalsam: "Oh great. Another puppy." - Sarah McLachlan's friends at Christmas
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@HavocMantis: I'm a fi-sci writer. "You mean sci-fi?" No, fi-sci. Fictional Science. Made-up scholarly articles on monsters, magic, and the like.
@foodfacenow: Interview Boss: What could you bring to this company? Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to.
@vineyille: I run up to the firefighter as he drags another charred body out of my burning home. “Did you see a zip disk labeled POEMS in there?”
@dumbbeezie: I don't have Facebook I use the police to tell my friends and family when I'm doing badly