@9to5Life: Oh great. I forgot to pack an apple in my lunch and now there's doctors EVERYWHERE.
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@BlindChow: COP: do you know why I pulled you over? ME: *furiously trying to swallow a mouthful of mattress tag stickers* no
@GrowlyGrego: [at Eminem show] Cuz I am / whatever you say I am / [from crowd] "Ur a pony! Ur a tablecloth!" The shapeshifting continues for hours.