@JesseWeller: Oh, hey guys how were the bars tonight? That's cool. In case you were wondering all of the Harry Potter movies are still really good.
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@lilgapeach30: Stepped on an action figure in the shower and simultaneously invented six new cuss words in four different languages.
@TheDiLLon1: 1) Find short Irish guy 2) teach him to rap. 3) Become manager. Name him Leprechaunye West 4) wait for $ to roll in
@sad_tree: *paramedic holds me as a I lay dying* ME: Tell my family.. all I ever wanted..was a robot butler PM: With a top hat? ME: Of course you idiot
@jharden21: teacher: i'm considering moving the test to next week. you guys down with that? me (too loud): down like the dog at the end of marley & me!