@PaulyPeligroso: "Oh, hey! I didn't even recognize you!" means "I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are."
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@jonnysun: "to my son, i leave my bathroom scale" the lawyer sighs "because where theres a will, theres a weigh. to my wife, i leave my last high five"
@omically: Honey, I'm afraid we can't get married anymore. weed_hitler69 just told me I was gay. *looks at Xbox* Thank you sir. You've changed my life.