@joeldanger: Oh hey, sorry I accidentally rolled out of your bed, across your floor, down the stairs, out the door, into my car and back in my own bed.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Dawn_M_: Twitter should give you 5,000 followers when you start and then you have to try and lose them.
@goldengateblond: Kim Davis says war has been declared on traditional marriage. Still unclear is which of her four marriages is under attack.
@TomItUp: "You're the Garbage Man, eh? What's your super power?" "I'm just here to take out the trash." "Whoa, we'll get to your catch phrase later."
@1Bad_Scientist: Me: how was your date? Friend: I ruined her panties. M: Wow that's hot man. F: No she got food poisoning from my cooking, bro.