@HeyoShellz: Oh honey, when I said I wanted to grind your face I meant with a meat grinder
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@AndrewNadeau0: Air Bud but from the perspective of a kid on the losing team that has to explain to his overbearing father he lost to a dog.
@NatePhilbrick: If other jobs got the same response as writing: -You're a fireman? Have you put out any famous fires? -You're a lifeguard? Can I be a victim in your next rescue? -You're a physicist? I have a few universe theories myself! -You're a chef? I'd do food too, but I never have time.
@moooooog35: Me: What do you want for breakfast? Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast?