@HeyoShellz: Oh honey, when I said I wanted to grind your face I meant with a meat grinder
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@bug_deal: the statue of liberty was a trojan horse thing but it was too hard to break out of and it’s full of skeletons now
@JennyJohnsonHi5: One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young, if they panic, you're old.
@iwearaonesie: 9: What are you going to be for Halloween dad? me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be? me: Mad