@boring_as_heck: Oh, I can't check my disobedient child with the rest of my luggage? You're saying I have to carry-on my wayward son?
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@sofarrsogud: My son, Luke, loves how I named all my kids after Star Wars characters. My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
@omgthatspunny: Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
@iwearaonesie: *wife offers me a sip of her water* m: Am I gonna catch what you have? w: No m: w: m: Are you sur- w: You're not going to get my period!