@TheWoodenslurpy: Oh, I see. "Adam and Steve" is gay, but “Adam dates his own rib” is perfectly acceptable.
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@Underchilde: I don’t think Twitter’s real. I think I’m in a mall in 1987 listening to “I Think We’re Alone Now” & my mind invented Twitter to protect me.
@PaperWash: Facebook: your old HS friend just sent you a friend request me: cool! Facebook: she's racist now me: uhh Facebook: everyone on here is
@thatUPSdude: Turns out HR doesn't care if it's national underwear day, you have to wear pants to work.