@TheSharona06: Oh, I see you're an extrovert. Sorry, we can't be friends. I already have a friend who's an extrovert. One of you is enough.
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@ericsshadow: "Stop texting me. If I wanted to go on the second date, I wouldn't have stolen all your jewelry."
@KeetPotato: genie: "thats definitely your last wish?" me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] "yes" genie: "ok" our dog: "how can i talk all of a sudden?"
@EndhooS: Lecturer: The human body is made up of 60% water Me: Oh god... Lecturer: *rolls eyes* What is it now? Me: [drowning somehow] I CAN'T SWIM
@Easy_Tiger__: I'm playing dead at work right now so nobody will talk to me. Everyone is screaming. Probably should have used less fake blood.