@KevinFarzad: Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
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@Discourt: My 4yo brought his Woody doll to the store and was swinging it around. I told him loudly to stop hitting people with his Woody. Parenting.
@offbeatoliv: Robert Downey Jr. will always be my hero, not because of Iron Man, but because he broke into someone's home just to take a nap.
@pro_failure: I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,"I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."
@TheBoydP: What's it called when a super model wants to date an accountant? Wishful thinking. Obviously