@jtrulez: Oh LinkedIn, what juicy tidbits do you have for me today? *raises monocle* Stanley added a skill?! HAHA! That is most delightful! *sips tea*
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@david8hughes: [me narrating a documentary about the pyramids] I really want a Toblerone for some reason.
@envydatropic: How long before your caterpillars will turn into butterflies? Me looking at your eyebrows
@longwall26: A werewolf is chasing you and you are going to die but he's wearing TOMS and you can't stop laughing.
@sofarrsogud: The running up the steps scene from Rocky, but it's a penguin, and it takes four and a half hours.