@adrienneMTK: "Oh, look! She's drinking vodka, let's kill her!" - Spiral staircases
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@gogglepossum: Date: wow you are dressed to kill tonight! [Me in full medieval armour] a knight never takes a life unless he has to Janice
@Sickayduh: Her: I think you're getting too into those Hobbit movies Me: *stops gluing a beard on the baby* what?
@The_Grant_Boldt: God: okay I need to create something to fill the dark empty void in the meaningless lives of unmotivated people [creates Twitter]