@BuckyIsotope: Oh Magic 8-Ball, will anyone ever love me?
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@Shock_Monster: In the time it took me to RT in Favstar I could have written the tweet in calligraphy and hand delivered it to all 7600 of my followers.
@goodtimenoel: You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off.
@SveldtSmelt: I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal.
@novicefather: [interview] "Describe yourself in 5 words." me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant.