@jordan_stratton: Oh, man. My grandma caught me texting my OTHER grandma and now things are super tense.
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@TheHyyyype: a talented computer hacker can bring down any man, no matter how rich or powerful, by smashing him over the head with a brick
@chopper4jk: The nice thing about Hide-and-Seek is your children voluntarily go in a closet and be quiet for 3 hours.
@onion_an: Dentist switches lamp on: "Now open wide" Moth dental assistant: *repeatedly flies into bulb* Dentist: "This has to stop Denise"
@TheToddWilliams: COP: Where were you the night of the murder? CROW: I was with a group of friends COP: What would you call that group? CROW: …I want a lawyer