@jordan_stratton: Oh, man. My grandma caught me texting my OTHER grandma and now things are super tense.
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@Jenny4ashley: If you had to choose between voting for Trump or getting into the water with sharks, would you dive in or do a cannon ball?
@usedwigs: Your Google Self-Driving car should be taken away if you don't let your dog sit in the driver's seat while you hold a map riding shotgun.
@KamanCider: Remember kids, if a stranger offers you drugs, say thank you because drugs are expensive.
@GensPlace: I was ringing this 0800 number for two days before I realised it was their opening hours.