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@perfect_boxx: Women who want to renew your wedding vows.... Why not renew the bachelorette party? You'd probably have more fun.
@GrantTanaka: "You know the speed limit here, son?" 45 "You know how fast you were going?" 88 "So where you off to in such a hurry?" 1985
@SuperRandomish: [Morgan Freeman narrating my life] *extended period of silence* "What the hell am I supposed to do with this..."