@SamuelHlowe: Oh my God! Honey, the baby just said "Dada!" Wait, why is he using air quotes?
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@just1fool: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's meant to be. So only become emotionally invested with boomerangs and dogs.
@Crunk_Jews: This midlife crisis has a lot less bank heists and high speed car chases than I had imagined.
@daemonic3: What is the deal with airplane food? Seriously, I'm trying to feed this thing and I don't know what airplanes eat.
@robdelaney: How did SkyMall go bankrupt? I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.