@SuperheroFeed: Oh my god
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@whereami18: I hope my kids love the gifts they receive for Christmas so I'll have more things to take away when I need to punish them
@Kendragarden: The waitress said they were out of pizza but then much later I saw a pizza come out to another table. (My super villain origin story)
@Eightinchgoat: My neighbor seriously just asked me, "Does Canada have 4th of July?" I said "No, they skip from the 3rd to the 5th, eh? I need to move.