@SuperheroFeed: Oh my god
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@girlontapas: My Cinderella story is backward. I started out a princess. Got drunk and lost a shoe when I met a handsome guy. Now I scrub the floors.
@Jamie1947: Give a dog a bone and he'll be like, "Oh wow, I love these, thanks" Teach a dog to bone and he'll be like, "dude, I got this"
@shawnspree: My condolences for you and your family through this difficult transition is why my wife won't let me send back wedding RSVP cards.