@hxnnahjohnston: oh. my god
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@fro_vo: Dr: you have pneumonia Hillary: what's pneumonia Me: *fighting off secret service* not much monia what's pneu with you
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Quit talking down to me like I don't know shit about technology! 12yo: Sorry... Me: That's ok. Now fix the router.
@Contwixt: I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
@cbdoubleu: Wife: I lost my day planner. Me: Not in your briefcase? W: No. I looked EVERYWHERE. M: Well it looks like you've got a hidden agenda W: