@AddledPixie: Oh my god, my jeans fit! All I have to do is not sit down, not walk, and not breathe. I totally got this.
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@arielleBigBlue: Your sign says "NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE", so it seems highly unfair that you kicked me out for not wearing pants.
@SamuelHLowe: -Why didn't you answer your home phone? -Because I'm walking the dog. Don't you trust me? -Of course I trust you! Put the dog on the phone.
@thatUPSdude: Hey people that knock on locked restroom doors, what are you expecting? "hey I'm taking a shit but come on in and join me"