@IGotsSmarts: "Oh. My. God." - the first duck to eat bread.
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@MartaEffing: Decorating my xmas tree after a bottle of wine. Mixed up a box of candy canes with a box of tampons. Tree looks weird and I feel minty.
@scorpicpanda: Me: *lying nude on checkered blanket* Him: "Where's the food and why are you naked?" Me: "Am I doing it wrong? This is my first picnic."
@justabloodygame: Damn girl, are you astrophysics? Because I don't know enough about you to finish this joke.
@TheMichaelRock: If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly kills people having sex. Most of you should be good.