@IGotsSmarts: "Oh. My. God." - the first duck to eat bread.
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@Home_Halfway: Anyone ever notice how the word "opinion" looks like "onion", and how if you cut into either, people start crying?
@AaronFullerton: Reading about how much Daniel Craig hates Bond is like The Pope Visiting Kim Davis all over again.
@aimlessamers: Since it's hunting season, we are allowed to shoot the cars with the antlers on them, right?
@_davidlucas_: Leviticus 20:13 legalises gay marriage and marijuana: "If a man lays with another man he should be stoned".