@IGotsSmarts: "Oh. My. God." - the first duck to eat bread.
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@mexinonblonde: You're a big fat liar! And I don't believe anything you say! See if I get naked for you again!! -Me to my scale as I step off of it
@StevieKnip: Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy
@ImKevinito: I wish cops cared about me wearing a condom as much as they care about me wearing a seat belt.
@Rollinintheseat: My life is a constant battle of wanting to pet a dog and not wanting to talk to its owner.