@seejayel: Oh no, a subtweet. You got me.
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@zacharyflynn: You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no.
@psybermonkey: [Family game night] Grandma: what are the rules? Me: omg for the last time, we spin the chamber and take turns shooting ourselves in the head
@meganamram: I never give homeless people drugs because I know they're just going to trade them for food
@Brampersandon_: *takes bite of cookie* Aw man this is awful *takes another bite* Still bad. But I better eat the rest to see if it gets better