@seejayel: Oh no, a subtweet. You got me.
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@rad_milk: as a teen did you ever steal your moms booze and fill it back up with water, or steal money out of her purse and fill it back up with water
@Brampersandon_: [pharmacy] "Can I help you?" Yeah, could you recommend anything over the counter for this? *lifts shirt to reveal 7 fresh gunshot wounds*
@SteelFontana: If you really loved your kids, you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards AND backwards. They'll thank you later.