@MollyERA: "Oh no I left the easy bake oven on" *runs home* *house is filled with tiny cakes*
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@ArfMeasures: [Bar] HOT GIRL: When I think someone is hot, I just agree with literally anything they say ME: That's interesting HOT GIRL: No it isn't
@JohnLyonTweets: Interesting how Lassie always happens to be at the scene when a kid "falls" down a well.
@realHamOnWry: As a bachelor I learned to separate my laundry into three piles; dirty, not so bad, and I could wear this another two three times if needed.