@DaddyJew: Oh no, my kid got upset at me and locked himself in his room. What ever will I do. Margarita anyone?
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@kiebi: It's funny how red, white and blue represents freedom until its flashing behind you to pull over
@HughGoesThere: [bedtime] Me: What’s in vegetable oil? Daughter: Vegetables M: And olive oil? D: Olives M: And baby oil? D: *I turn out the lights and leave
@El_nacho_Nigre: Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art? Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"