@bridger_w: "Oh, no. No, no, no. Are you kidding me?" -First thing I would say if someone raised me from the dead
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thenatewolf: *on a first date* Me: [remembering how my friend said women like mysterious men] my favorite color is a secret
@ReeseButCallMeV: OMG I forgot to read my horoscope and now I have no idea what life has in store for me today!!!!!!
@slimmy_shady: Im making a fortune promoting home security systems.All I do is say "Hello".At 3 in the morning sitting at the end of their bed.
@Donna_McCoy: Reasons to evacuate before a hurricane: 5. Winds 4. Flooding 3. Power outages 2. No pizza delivery 1. Wet socks