@Ideal_Victoria: Oh… Oh dear… it looks like my grandmother’s embroidered pillow may have stolen your tweet.
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@_knuck_: *peeing in the urinal at McDonalds* *turns to the guy peeing in the other urinal* "So, what did you order?"
@Dawn_M_: Awww it's cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn't realise I will pull hers right back.
@PrincessAlexx_: Sending 17 text messages explaining why you're not crazy seems a little counterintuitive.
@SondraDeeMe: I've always had a soft spot in my heart for female T-Rex because the tampon insertion must've been really difficult.