@Ideal_Victoria: Oh… Oh dear… it looks like my grandmother’s embroidered pillow may have stolen your tweet.
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@BuckyIsotope: [on game show] Choose a door for a goat or a new car "I'll take door #2" You've won the car! *sees it's a Kia* "Can I have the goat instead"
@mattZillaaaa: [on a 1st date] Me: I'm just looking to take things slow Her: *in a wedding dress* me too
@MableGertrude: Oh, so you make the bed everyday...I suppose you're also the type of snob that folds your clothes and puts them in "drawers."