@sageboggs: Oh really, Carol? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take you to mind your own business
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@ericsshadow: My doctor told me, "If you don't quit smoking, it doesn't really matter how poorly you eat" and that was the best day of my life.
@icecube: Stealing endorsements is not how you become the president of the United States, homie. Leave my name out ya mouth...
@TheRolo: A fun way to "Break up" is to tell them to "Go long" and then never throw them the football.
@littleshark87: "Auntie,how big can frogs be?" "Depends how many cars roll over it" I should do Kids TV shows.