@elle91: "Oh Shit, Was That Today?" an autobiography
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@caperbc75: Do you think the guy responsible for squirting water in NFL players' mouths has "rehydration specialist" listed on his LinkedIn profile?
@Josievorenkamp: Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some shit.
@GeauxSaints79: 911: I'd like to report a Twief! 911: What? A Twurglar! 911: I don't follow You can't catch em like that. Hurry they're getting stars!
@mikealfredcaine: shave your dog in the winter so he stands out in the crowd. if you lose him u can easily describe him as the cold bald dog