@KevinFarzad: Oh so everyone praises the movie 'Her' but when I loved my Sims everyone was like "we're worried" & "you've been playing 72 hours straight"
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@audipenny: Why are you being weird about how we made eye contact and both smiled and then I took the form of an actual bat and chased you for 11 miles
@ch000ch: hello 9-1-1? my girlfriend's been kidnapped "stay calm sir, what's ur girlfriend's name" oh she goes to another school u wouldn't know her
@U_Want_Shum_M8: *sees a hot christian girl* Me: I am christian now,where do i get one of those plus signs? Friend: That's a cross. Me: across from where?