@MableGertrude: Oh, so you make the bed everyday...I suppose you're also the type of snob that folds your clothes and puts them in "drawers."
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@specialhug: People ask me the secret of a good tweet. It's called "proof-reading". Perhaps you've hard of it
@Rollmaninoz: *giraffe getting his daily coffee* G: usual grande mocha man Barista: gee that’s a… G: *sigh* B:…tall order G: Christ, every goddam day Phil
@PaperWash: [wife gets home] did you feed the baby his spinach today? [me doing push ups] hell no I'm not letting that baby get stronger than me