@MableGertrude: Oh, so you make the bed everyday...I suppose you're also the type of snob that folds your clothes and puts them in "drawers."
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@heytherejeffro: Pretty sure the "FINISH HIM" guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date.
@Perfect_Beanis: in 2001 i was in a coma dying from meningitis and someone played "in the end" by linkin park and i woke up to tell them to turn it off
@MakesYouGiggle: Dear people with resolutions, Please bring all your unwanted.. bread, junk food, soda, drugs, and alcohol to my house. Thanks.