@SunshineJarboly: "Oh sure, they can eat their own poop, no problem. They just CAN'T eat chocolate. It'll kill them." - God inventing dogs.
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@Laser_Cat: "I live as a mountain man because I enjoy the isolation and I hate people. Film crews are cool though." - Mountain Men on History Channel
@pizzajaynow: You can learn a lot about your kids by helping them with their homework for example, mine are idiots.
@markhoppus: I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your email..."
@primawesome: Every time I have a salad for lunch my stomach feels the same way a dog does when someone fake throws a tennis ball.