@AndyAsAdjective: Oh sweet embrace of morning, envelope me in your welcoming arms & brightly shine on this glorious GODDAMMIT! WHO DIDN'T FLUSH THE TOILET?!
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@thatUPSdude: Don't you hate when somebody gives you the finger in traffic and then you have to follow them home and loosen the lug nuts on their wheels.
@SortaBad: Sometimes at the airport I'll ask a stranger if they have an iphone charger and if they do I take mine out and say "nice, me too"
@ImHopel3ss: Somewhere, someplace, there's a hole in the world & inside it there's a bunch of gremlins hoarding the 50,000 lighters I can't find.