@yoyoha: "Eat her already!" - Animal watching people kissing

@krisv_723: You don't care when my dog does it, is not an acceptable explanation for shitting on your neighbor's lawn. I know this now.

@thatUPSdude: Don't you hate when somebody gives you the finger in traffic and then you have to follow them home and loosen the lug nuts on their wheels.

@DanMentos: I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve visited Chernobyl… it’s 14

@myonlymizztake: Note to self: Used VHS tapes do not make good emergency gifts, always go with stuff from the freezer.