@lanyardtwerk: Oh. This is hand *Satanizer.* Well, is my face red with the blood of innocents.
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@weinerdog4life: one time my cousin greg put on two jean jackets and he exploded, there was mustache everywhere
@LouisPeitzman: If you can't handle me at my fattest, then you sure as hell don't deserve me if I ever lose weight. Which could happen, you don't know.
@mishakey: I was telling this chick how I almost died during childbirth and she asked me when I'm having another one. I SAID I ALMOST DIED, CRAZY LADY.