@XplodingUnicorn: Oh, you have dignity? Well I have nachos. I win.
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@EmmettScanlan: Mum: "OMG clean your room! This is MADNESS!" Me: "Madness?! NO... THIS IS SPARTA!!" *Kicks Mum*..
@lilgapeach30: I don't delete annoying people out of my phone. I give them new names so I know not to answer. "Always needs a favor" is calling, decline.
@TheMichaelRock: I put a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 inside a Samsung washing machine and now I own a nuclear warhead.
@KeetPotato: [biologists find beached whale] its a new species what can we call it? [surfer walks by] yo killer whale bro [biologists look at each other]