@kumailn: "Oh you like this cake? (*Tosses cake out the window*) Oops." - Game of Thrones
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@DrDogMD: COW: I'm constipated DR DOG: when was ur last bowel moooo-vement lol C: ur doing puns right now? DD: gonna milk this for all its worth lmao
@murrman5: are you the girl who types everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *turns to prosecutor and answers his question with dolphin noises*
@DouchyDocLove: Wife just changed her Facebook status to "It's complicated." Better go see what she wants.