@Travis_Lemire: Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.
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@Tommytoughstuff: PRISON GUARD: (shines the spot light on me as I scale the fence) I can’t believe he hasn’t dropped his ice cream.
@cravin4: Boss: Stop putting fake teeth marks in the urinal cakes. You're freaking out the customers. Me: Fake?
@jessokfine: People always throwing cursed objects into the sea hello, no that is how you get haunted sharks