@Travis_Lemire: Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.
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@Blunt_Sarcastic: When coming out of any coma, try keeping your eyes shut for another day or two to see what everyone's saying about you.
@joemcshutup: Taylor Swift told Vanity Fair she's not a "clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend" through various voicemails and texts at 3 AM