@leslid79: Oh, you solved a murder? I guess that's cool. One time I didn't run over my ex when I saw him crossing the street. I prevented a murder.
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@dubstep4dads: [sees kid crying] Kid: Im lost Me: that's ok. We're all lost. Happiness is an illusion. Life is meaningless. Death is around the corner. Bye
@TheAlexP: I don't often get suspicious,but squirrels rubbing their tiny hands together? I worry they won the lottery & hired a good hit & run attorney
@TheGladStork: Computer: Do you trust this device? Me: Why? Is there something you're not telling me?
@counterfeitingl: When my large dog wants to sit beside me but my other slightly less large dog already is, he just sits on top of him