@LeslieInMpls: The cheapest way to make your lips look fuller is to trip on a dog toy, land flat on your face, then sit back and enjoy the swelling.
@JediGigi: If I wear a wizard hat and robe to my cousin's wedding this weekend, I bet no one asks me if I'm next.
@Holy_Mowgli: [spelling bee]
JUDGE: the word is "semicolon"
ME: can you use it in a sentence?
JUDGE: not really, no
@shkeeber: I may not be the sharpest sandwich in the tree, but put my pants on one sleeve at a time just like you.
Do you have any cookies?
@themorris23: On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
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