@JaneBadall: My son approaches even small chores with the enthusiasm of a POW forced to build a railway bridge over the river Kwai.

@Easy_Tiger__: I'm playing dead at work right now so nobody will talk to me. Everyone is screaming. Probably should have used less fake blood.

@DevilryFun: I'm an introvert, but my middle finger is an extrovert.

@IncrediblyRich: All you people who chose "The Real" or "Official" before your Twitter handle really thought ahead of the game there. Well done, guys.

@Psycholane: Revenge is a dish whose photos I haven't yet seen on Instagram.