@alexa_alessia: Oh ..your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?:-)
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How many legs does the dog have? 4 y.o: Five Me: There’s something wrong with your counting. 4: There’s something wrong with the dog.
@SteveSuckington: [text] 11:56 pm Her: whatcha doin? Me: taking a shit 12:03 am Her: whatcha doin now? Me: same shit different day